It feels like summer holidays. Yay! One child finished her high school year yesterday, her final dance performance last night and her year-end viola concert today. The other child has only one week of school to go, having hit the end of year highlights like going away on class camp and performing in the class play within this last stretch of time. The weather is hot, like proper summer, and Christmas decorations and music are everywhere.
And I taught the last of the classes in my 8-week series of parenting workshops this morning. Having covered some challenging and taboo topics in the previous weeks, we ended the classes on a high note today with the topic of play. It felt celebratory and fun!
One thing that I love and find valuable about the group classes is that we are all the teachers and we are all the learners. Today we discussed how much (or how little!) play we as adults have in our lives and how we can use play to connect with our children, as their worlds come alive when there is play involved. Time and time again I heard parents talking about swimming as one of the ways they have fun together with their children. Not only that, a few commented that water is a state changer. They’ve noticed that if they’re tired or if they’re grumpy, after going for a dip that everything shifts and they come out of the water renewed and refreshed.
It just so happens that my children love to go swimming and often request that we go swimming. Sometimes I say yes, though admittedly, I don’t always go into the pool. (Bo-ring!)
Today was quite a full day. Exhausted from waking up at 4:45 a.m. (not intentionally), then teaching a 3-hour class, and afterwards immediately rushing off to the viola concert, I was ready for a nap when we returned home at 5pm. My son, however, was ready for some fun time together. With the topic of play still fresh in my mind, and its importance in relating to my children, I agreed to go to the pool after a little sleep. I do want to walk my talk after all.
I’ll tell you what when my son came to wake me up after an hour’s time I didn’t want to stir. Didn’t want to open my eyes, and getting out of my nice comfy bed was the furthest thing from my mind. But, a promise is a promise, so somehow I summoned the will to get up and get ready for the pool. We walked over to the pool and I was still feeling groggy.
We were lucky and had the pool all to ourselves. Its surface was smooth and placid - until we came along that is. The parents in my class were right - getting in the water for a swim is a state changer! As soon as I got in the pool and was playing with my children, my energy levels, my clarity and my mood all shifted. We had a fabulous time throwing the ball around, playing hide and seek with it, and just generally goofing off, giggling and splashing around. I emerged from the pool as a new woman, feeling fresh and energized, feeling connected with my children.
It made me think of this lovely quote by James Michener:
“The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labour and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him, he's always doing both. ”
A big thank you to my children who are masters in the art of living, whose labour and leisure are one in the same. You teach me and remind me of this and the importance of play every day. And deep gratitude to the participants in this most recent parenting class for inspiring me to play in the water with my children today, and for teaching me that immersing myself in water is a valuable tool for regulating myself as a parent and for connecting with my children. I look forward to seeing you all swimming at the beach this summer with your children!