Make an Advent Wreath - Tutorial

Make Your Own Advent Wreath

For several years our family has had an Advent wreath. The children love it, and it’s a wonderful project to do together.

I’ve been meaning to make this tutorial for at least 8 or 9 years to share this joy with other families, and each year procrastination and/or perfectionism has gotten in my way. This year I am finally making it happen!

My husband is an advertising photographer, and I have had grand ideas of using his beautiful images, along with my children taking part in making the wreath for the project. However, this year my husband and children (who aren’t children anymore) are busy (one is even overseas in Sweden).

And I’m so determined to make the tutorial this year because I am teaching the parent/child class at our Steiner school and have made an advent wreath to bring to class next week and I want to show the parents how they can make a wreath for themselves. AND today is the beginning of advent, so there’s no time like the present.

Gather Your Supplies:

• greenery

• willow branches or other vines with leaves removed

• flowers - if they’re in season where you live (I used red mānuka flowers)

• newspapers

• green wool

• candles

• candle holders

• grosgrain ribbon

• 2 straight pins

• scissors

• secateurs

• plate to rest the finished wreath on

Advice: When handling the greenery wear long sleeves and possibly gloves if you will be dextrous enough. I got hives from handling the saps and oils from the greenery.

Going for a walk in the woods with children to collect the greenery for the Advent wreath can be a wonderful adventure and a great way to involve them in the process of making your advent wreath.

Gather Your Supplies

Making The Newspaper Base

Form a ring by rolling up sheets of newspaper and shaping it with your hands as you move around the circumference. Make the base about the same size as the plate that will hold your finished wreath. Add more pieces on to add bulk. This newspaper will give you a base to add greenery onto later and has the added benefit of retaining water to help your wreath stay fresh.

Wrapping Wool Around The Newspaper Base

Next take your wool and wrap it around the newspaper base to bind the base together. Continue to shape the newspaper into a circular shape as you do this. It’s important to use wool or cotton yarn for this step so when Christmas is over you can place the whole wreath on the compost pile.

Wrapping Willow Branches and Vines Around Base

Wrap the willow branches or vines around the newspaper base, tucking the ends in under the wool. These branches will give you places to tuck the evergreen boughs into.

Wrap More Wool

Wrap another round of wool over the layer of willow branches to stabilise the base even more.

Adding Greenery

Add greenery to your wreath, tucking the ends of the branches into the willow branches and under the green wool. First work your way around the top of the wreath, then add greenery to the bottom, inside and outside. After you have a base layer of greenery attached, bind it all together with another round of green wool. Then add more greenery over the top to hide the wool.

Wrapping The Ribbon

Secure a red ribbon to the bottom side of the wreath with a straight pin and wrap it around, spacing it evenly. Pin the excess ribbon under your wreath with another straight pin.

Soak Your Advent Wreath

Now that your wreath is complete it’s time to give it an extra-long soak in the sink so the newspaper core holds plenty of moisture to keep the greenery looking fresh. I put mine in the sink, ribbon and all, for about 2 hours. After it has soaked, let most the water drip out of the wreath, and place the wreath on your plate, reshaping the wreath as necessary. You may need to tip water out of the plate again a bit later.

Soaking The Wreath

Celebrating Advent

Put your candles in the candle holders and place them in the centre of the wreath. Now you are ready to celebrate Advent.

Advent begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas, marking a time of preparation and anticipation for Christmas Day. This year it starts today, 27 November.

In Steiner Schools we honour different kingdoms (minerals, plants, animals and humans) on each Advent Sunday and the week following. Start on the first Advent Sunday by lighting one candle to give gratitude for the minerals. On the next Sunday light two candles - one for the minerals and one for the plants. Begin on the next Sunday to light three candles for the minerals, plants and animals. And on the fourth Advent Sunday light all four candles for the mineral, plant, animal and human realms.

Here is a verse that can be spoken as you light each candle. (Apologies I don’t know to whom to credit this verse - please write to me if you know the author.)

The first light of Advent is the light of stones.

The light that shines in seashells, crystals and our bones.

The second light of Advent is the light of plants.

Plants that reach up to the sun, and in the breezes dance.

The third light of Advent is the light of beasts.

Animals of farm, forest and sea, awaiting the birth in greatest and in least.

The fourth light of Advent is the light of humankind.

The light of hope, thoughts and deeds, the light of hand, heart and mind.

The Care and Feeding of Your Advent Wreath

Soak your wreath every few days, ribbon and all, to make sure it stays well hydrated. If the greenery dries out too much by the end of Advent, you can always add fresh greenery over the top to spruce it up a bit.

I hope you have a lovely Advent season and a very happy Christmas. Please get in touch if you have any questions.

Warmly,

Amy

Flying The Nest

What is most alive for me in my parenting journey right now is that our firstborn will be flying the nest soon - in about three and a half weeks.  Her departure date is coming forward to meet me at full speed, whether I like it or not.

Whether I like it or not… I must admit that I have a lot of feelings around her leaving and that I cycle through an assortment of them with regularity.

First and foremost, I feel great joy for her.  I’m celebrating that she is a confident and capable young woman, who feels excited about stepping out of life in our small town in Aotearoa New Zealand into the great wide world.  She is going off to a 10-month program in Sweden called YIP (International Youth Initiative Program), where she will live and learn with 40 other young people from all over the world, exploring topics ranging from the macrocosm of global awareness to the microcosm of personal consciousness.  For some of the program, they will be immersed in a different weekly topic guided by a contributor who comes to work with them, followed by a month-long internship somewhere in the world at a project that inspires them, culminating in a self-designed curriculum project and presentation of a personal inquiry of their choosing.  What an environment for growth and stretching one’s wings!  I am so proud that she is choosing this for herself.  Not only that, there is a sweetness about her returning to and connecting with our ancestral homelands in Scandinavia.

And despite my excitement for her adventures, I wear a heavy cloak of sadness.  Sadness because our relationship as it has been will soon be altering drastically.  For nineteen years (minus the four months she lived overseas in Norway on a high school exchange), we have lived together under the same roof, in this family configuration of mother-father-sister-brother.  I love her and I like her, and I will miss the day-to-dayness of our encounters and the space for spontaneous conversations and connections with each other. And I am grieving the change in my role as mother.  Luckily we still have our teenage son at home for a couple more years, yet I can feel, with our daughter leaving home, that shift is gradually happening in my identity.  These years of active mothering have been some of the most precious of my life, and I feel deep sadness about that changing.

And fear… yes, I sit with a strong dose of fear too around my daughter leaving home - with a one-way ticket to Sweden.  I have a very vivid imagination, and unfortunately, sometimes it gets the better of me, leading into quite dark scenarios.  I have fear that when we say goodbye at the airport it may be the last time I ever see her.  Visions of airplane disasters or of the Ukraine war spreading seem to be some of the more frequent visitors to my imagination, or of lockdowns and not being able to get to each other if we need to.  And there’s another level of fear too.  There’s the fear that I haven’t taught her everything that I wished to as a parent.  Fear that this time of living together is quickly narrowing, and that I may be missing opportunities to be together. Fear of stepping into the unknown - I don’t know yet what it means to us with our daughter no longer living here.

And what I am declaring for myself is a space of trust.  Trust that all is unfolding as it should.  Trust that my daughter can now take care of herself and will figure out what she needs to figure out - that this is her time to make her way into the world. Trust that what I am learning from this experience will be useful when it’s time for our son, the youngest, to leave the nest.  Trust that I have done what I needed to in mothering my daughter, because now she is doing what she is meant to do developmentally - stepping into independence as an adult.

I imagine this will be a big adjustment for us all as a family, one that will need time to navigate, and will need support from friends and loved ones.  My intention is to step into this shift with consciousness and openness to seeing what unfolds.

Over the course of my parenting, it’s become clear that the values I hold most dear are family, connection, creativity and transformation, and I will continue to channel my energy into holding space for other families who are interested in a similar path.  Currently, I’m in the process of developing a painting class called ‘The Muse of The Empty Nest’ for mothers who want to find clarity about what they want to cause and create for themselves in the space of an empty nest.  It will be a deep dive into the self through the vehicle of Intentional Creativity.

Painting In Progress…

And, as always, I am available to work one-on-one with you parents who wish to bring more consciousness and connection into your relationship with your children.  Knowing that children grow up all too quickly, the time to infuse your parenting with these qualities is now!  You can find more details on my website: www.heartconnectionparenting.com.

ps- Quinne has working as a nanny and been raising funds so she can attend YIP.  If you feel inspired to support her, here is a Give-A-Little link where you can contribute to her cause - she would be most grateful.  https://givealittle.co.nz/cause/support-quinne-to-go-to-yip?fbclid=IwAR1Pj4dWG38yohFEIs6IUf5pa-69tsRdjbGvKwYLPndUxuUDFL-C5Z0hNxs

Intentional Creativity - Belonging

What a joy to spend yesterday guiding two groups of teenagers in Intentional Creativity sessions.

Our theme was ‘Belonging,’ and we did a painting process to transform old stories about belonging (or not belonging, to be more precise).

Such fun to paint with the mind of a child, the heart of a child and in the style of a child, not thinking about the outcome of the painting but revelling in the process, rewiring old stories in the brain that probably started forming sometime in childhood.

One of my favourite parts was when the group thanked me by reading me poetry. This was one of the poems:

"For Belonging” by John O'Donohue

May you listen to your longing to be free.

May the frames of your belonging be generous enough for your dreams.

May you arise each day with a voice of blessing whispering in your heart

May you find a harmony between your soul and your life.

May the sanctuary of your soul never become haunted.

May you know the eternal longing that lives at the heart of time.

May there be kindness in your gaze when you look within.

May you never place walls between the light and yourself.

May you allow the wild beauty of the invisible world to gather you, mind you, and embrace you in belonging.

Early Birds and Night Owls

Early birds out and about - that was us adults this morning.

Night owls - there are two of them roosting in my house.  My teenage children are at the age where their circadian rhythm has shifted and their best ideas and enthusiasm come late at night, then they snooze away through the morning.  Even though their technology curfew is 9:00pm, they still are alert and awake until all hours.  It all makes sense from an evolutionary perspective - they would have been the ones tending the fire and keeping the wild animals at bay while my husband and I would have had the chance to catch up on some well-deserved zzzz's.

And then we adults would wake up early to take our sentinel shift.

Only this morning, instead of keeping watch while the teenagers slept, my husband and I went down to the beach for a date (dates are much harder to come by in lockdown, you know).  

Oliver brought his camera along to capture the sunrise and the glow at our little local beach.  I brought the baby of our family, our doggy, otherwise known as our golden child (she's a golden retriever).

I'm remembering the days when my children were tiny and they were the earliest of early birds while simultaneously being night owls.  Sleep was a scarce commodity then.  In those times I had to take a deep breath and remember that 'this too shall pass.'  And it did.

Just like these days of being in lockdown shall pass.  Today is our first day of being at Level 3 Alert.  This too shall pass.

In the mean time, what a fabulous way to start the day.  Sometimes I forget the magic of getting out into nature early in the morning.  Out there walking on the beach this morning I kept thinking to myself, "now THIS is living."

What are some of the ways you keep yourself sane in lockdown?  How are you filling your own cup so you have resources available when it comes to parenting?

Visioning at Dawn

This morning when the alarm chimed at dark o’clock, before the crack of early, I made my way out to the caravan, where I’ve set up a creative sanctuary for myself. 

And I worked away for 6 hours straight, visioning a new offering that I’m excited to share with parents in these times.

So watch this space - I can’t wait to share more about it with you as it comes into form.

Family Legacies

I have always felt a strong connection to my Norwegian and Swedish ancestry. As a young girl I was given dolls in Scandinavian outfits, had Norwegian troll figurines to play with, was read books of Swedish fairy tales while snuggled up in Scandinavian quilts, and my Grammy always baked a million-trillion-gazillion kringla, lefse and rosettes for us.

Even before I ever went to Scandinavia to visit I had a sense of it being my place, and once I was there I felt like I’d found my people. I’ve had grand dreams for our family to spend a year living in Sweden or Norway - and that’s still on my bucket list. Somehow I must have passed on my love for our roots to my daughter, who felt inspired to go on a student exchange to Norway last year.

We just got back from a family reunion - a cousin fest- in California last week. It was a grand gathering of aunties, uncles, cousins, second cousins. One night we even had a Swedish themed dinner evening in celebration of our heritage. My daughter plaited my hair and even adorned the braids with flowers to fit the occasion.

My auntie, who is in the process of doing her ‘Swedish death cleaning,’ passed along some gorgeous family heirlooms to me. Though not the most practical or lightweight items to bring home on an overseas flight, I returned home with my great grandparents’ cast iron krumkake iron (see a photo of the yummy krumkake before we rolled them), my great grandfather’s cast iron coffee grinder (see it hanging on our kitchen wall in the photo below?), and an album containing, in chronological order, love letters that my grandparents had written to each other. These are such treasures to me, and I deeply appreciate the connection that using these household objects creates between me and my ancestors.

In my Māori language class we have been working all year on building our mihimihi, which is the way one introduces oneself at a gathering. It’s a way to share with others a bit about yourself - where you come from, who your ancestors are, what your heritage is. It’s a way for others to discover what sort of connections they might share with you. We are building our vocabulary more and more and have just begun to arrive at the place where we can speak a bit about our heritage and our ancestors.

So, my ancestors have been on my mind in a few different areas of my life. And also on my mind are my descendants and what my husband and I pass on to them. Tonight my shoulder had a knot in it and my daughter lovingly offered to give it a massage and while she did that she sang Norwegian songs to me. It was such a lovely experience on many levels. For one, it felt amazing to have my sore shoulder worked on, and I also marveled at the tenderness and love that was coming through her. I’m sure our Norwegian ancestors would smile to know that although our family came through America and then on to New Zealand, something of their culture and their lives was still living through their descendants.

Do you ever think about your descendants and what you are passing on to them? In my work as a parenting coach I assist people to identify and transform familial patterns that they may have inherited from their parents, their grandparents, or even generations further back. I feel very moved when parents identify patterns that they want to shift and when I see them on the path to creating new ways of being in their families. It is possible to influence generations downstream by the way you are parenting today.

If you are keen to discover new ways of parenting, to change familial patterns that may not be serving you, if you seek deeper connection with your children and want to change the parenting track you are on, I can help you.

For those of you that live in the Top of The South Island, my husband and I are offering an 8-week parenting class, beginning next Wednesday evening, August 7 in Motueka. And for those of you that live further afield, or who want one on one support, I offer individual coaching over the phone or Skype

Some of the things I’d like to pass on as our family legacy are kindness, compassion, empathy, patience and emotional intelligence (alongside the family quilts, recipes, krumkake irons and cast iron coffee grinders). What is it that you’d like to pass on to your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren and beyond?

Free Parenting Talk - Tuesday April 9th, 2019 at Motueka Steiner School

My husband Oliver and I invite you to join us for a free parenting talk we’re offering in our local community. We want as many parents as possible to have access to this information!

It will be held this coming Tuesday, April 9th at 7:30 pm at the Motueka Steiner School.

We’d love to know if you’ll join us so we can have an idea of how many to cater for.

Drop us a line to let us know you’re coming and send through parenting questions you’d like us to address. Amy@heartconnectionparenting.com.

Parenting Tip: Compassionate Listening

Hello lovely parents,

Wishing you all a Happy New Year. This is a time of year when parents and children are spending more time together, and I’d like to give you a parenting tip that can give you some ease in your relationship. It’s all about compassionate listening. Watch the video or read the article to find out more.

As humans, being listened to and being heard are our hearts’ desires. They are core needs for everybody - adults and children alike.

So often when parents come to me seeking assistance they would like to know what words to say to their children. They’d like to know the script to make their children clean their rooms, to make their children get out the door on time, to make their children get in the car, to make their children stop fighting, to make their children do their homework, to make their children stop talking back to them, et cetera, et cetera. But what if it’s not so much about what we say to our children? What if it is about our capacity to listen to our children?

The basic and very important tip I’d like to share with you is about listening compassionately to your children. And this might mean making a shift in the way that you listen.

So how do you listen compassionately? There are a few components that can be helpful in listening compassionately. Here are a few ideas of what you can bring to your listening…

-Listen intently: Be present when you are listening to your children. Make eye contact with your children when they are speaking to you. As parents, our attention is often pulled in so many directions simultaneously, and it can be a big challenge to focus on one thing at a time. So many things tug on our sleeves at once. And if we can give our children our full attention when they speak to us, especially if it is about something that is important to them, they’ll know that they are a priority to us.

-Listen with an open mind: Try to refrain from making a judgement about what your child is saying. Rather than making up your mind about what your child is going to say to you before they have even completed what they are saying, listen with curiosity. Give your child a chance to express things from his or her point of view without it being clouded by your judgement. This is not to say that you won’t hold limits or that you won’t share your input later, but do allow your child the space to share what is in their heart. For now, just notice and observe what your child wants to communicate.

-Refrain from interrupting: Can you listen to your child without completing your child’s sentence? Allow your child to express herself or himself fully. This can take a significant amount of patience! Know that the pauses in the conversation are valuable, and if you don’t jump to fill them in they can allow your child to deepen further into what they are wanting to express.

-Refrain from comparison: Refrain from comparing your child to a sibling, another child or to yourself. Again, allowing your child’s self-expression to belong to himself or herself, without it needing to be compared to someone else’s reality.

If you can practice even one of these components of compassion listening that’s fantastic. If you can bring all four elements in - great! Do what you can and what comes to mind in the moment. Remember to be kind and gentle on yourself - this is a practice.

When I first started consciously practicing this compassionate listening skill with my children I was amazed at the sense of ease and connection it brought to our relationship. One night I was giving my daughter her goodnight snuggle and she broached the topic of wanting to be homeschooled. We moved to the town where we’re living largely in part because of the school that is here. It was what we were looking for in an education for our children, and after already having lived here a number of years, it was an anchor for us in our community here.

Before bringing compassionate listening into our lives, my immediate reaction to my daughter telling me she wanted to be homeschooled would have been an immediate “no way!” I probably would have made sure straight away to tell her that was not within the realm of possibility. And admittedly, when this conversation took place, I did feel the “no way” arising internally. Luckily I had the presence of mind to notice my reaction and choose to approach the conversation with a sense of curiosity. I asked her about the reasons she wanted to be homeschooled and what she imagined it would be like. How would it make her feel and what did she imagine she would gain from it?

(By the way, I’m not opposed to homeschooling. We have several friends who homeschool their children, and it works brilliantly for them. For our family, homeschooling didn’t fit for various reasons at the time.)

By the end of our conversation my daughter felt heard rather than shut down. And I felt connected. By the way, I didn’t give her an answer in the moment. Actually, just being able to express what was on her mind and to be listened to was enough for her.

When I am able to do this (which is not always - it is a practice after all), I come closer to fitting with my vision of being a less reactive parent, which means that I feel better about myself. And when I feel better about myself, I am more available for my children. When I’m more available for my children our relationship is calmer and more connected, and it becomes a self-perpetuating positive feedback loop.

The funny thing is, when little brother heard about his older sister wanting to be homeschooled, he decided he wanted to do the same. He said to me, “Mama, if I were homeschooled, you’d be my favourite teacher!” Words to melt a mama’s heart.

And you know, whether we homeschool or not, we always are our children’s most important teachers. And if you can practice compassionate listening and model it for your children, like magic your children will learn that skill by osmosis. And whether your children are listening to you compassionately or you to them, it is so connecting and wonderful.

One Of My Husband's and My Parenting Challenges

Hello! Here’s a quick impromptu Facebook Live video my husband and I made while we were on one of our weekly Monday morning dates. For this particular date we were on a local bush walk here in New Zealand. On our walk, the topic of parenting challenges came up for us.

Through the years we have faced many challenges in parenting, and one of the biggies for us now is finding the time to spend together as a couple. Still, after 15+ years of parenting, we’re trying to sort this one out.

For a while we had a weekly standing date night to go out dancing. It was fabulous fun, but it certainly racked up the babysitting bills. Once our children grew old enough to do so, we experimented with letting them stay home on their own while we went on a date. After one frightening incident, they weren’t keen to do this any longer. Not only that, as we’ve become older we’re not such night owls anymore.

We needed to find a creative solution to make space for our one-on-one time together. What works for us well now is to have a standing weekly date on Monday mornings. Sometimes we go out to a cafe for a cup of coffee, sometimes we’ll go for a bush walk, sometimes we’ll make coffee at home and take it to the beach, and sometimes we just stay home. The point is, we know we have dedicated time for each other.

With busy lives of parenting, running our businesses, volunteering, trying to keep fit, cooking, chauffeuring children, . . . and, and, and. . . , it can be so challenging for us to spend the time together that we want and need. It’s so easy to begin to grow apart in the hustle and bustle of life, just trying to keep everything afloat.

Being able to catch up with each other on a regular basis keeps us in touch with where the other one is and keeps us evolving together. Not only do we catch up with each other on the logistical side of things (who in the family is going where and when, what needs to happen to keep the household running, what scheduling dilemmas are on the horizon), we get to touch base about the emotional side of things too. It’s a chance to take stock of our relationship, to reconnect about our hopes and dreams, our worries and fears. It’s a chance to give voice to what is in our hearts and a chance to provide deep listening for the other.

I hear from many other parents that finding time to be with their spouse/partner is a huge challenge. Some find it hard to find time to be with their children as much as they’d like to, and some are starved for time by themselves to re-fill their own cups.

Every parent I talk to is facing some challenge in parenting. Those challenges don't seem to stop coming, they just shift and change and evolve into another configuration.

I’m curious, what is your biggest challenge in parenting?

• Is it that your children don’t listen to you?

• Is bedtime an epic battle?

• Is it nigh impossible to get out the door in the morning without tears (your child’s or your own)?

• Are you finding yourself yelling at your child and then feeling guilty afterwards?

• Is the sibling rivalry driving you nuts?

• The arguments between siblings totally stress you out?

• Maybe it’s the big mess everywhere?

• A sense of overwhelm about everything you need to carry in your role as a parent?

• Does your self-sabotaging inner critic tell you that you’ll never get this right?

Maybe it’s all of the above? I have felt everyone of these frustrations at some stage in my parenting, and I’m willing to bet you have too.

How about you - what is your biggest challenge in parenting? Leave a comment about what it is you’re struggling with. I know it might feel vulnerable to do so. It might be embarrassing to admit that you have parenting struggles. And, I find a real beauty when we can be honest and authentic with each other about what is really happening for us. Sometimes it’s reassuring to know that others are going through similar struggles. “Oh, so you mean I’m not the only one!” Parenting can feel so isolating sometimes when we don’t have anyone to share our experiences with.

If you want to reach out to someone to lighten the load of the parenting burden you’re carrying, I offer a free 1/2 hour call to parents who wish to discuss their parenting challenges. Giving voice to what is weighing on you and having a compassionate listening ear on the other side can be so cathartic.

Here’s where you can schedule your free 1/2 hour call with me: https://calendly.com/heartconnectionparenting/30minutes

I promise you it’s a free call - no obligation, no strings attached. It’s my gift to you, and is an opportunity for you to seek some support for yourself in parenting.

I’d love to be in touch with you to have a chat. And if you know of someone who might find this offer useful, please pass the information along.

ps - When my daughter was 3, I received some sage advice from Teacher Donna, the wise woman who was her pre-school teacher and a parenting mentor to me. Donna advised us to make sure that every 3 months we made the time to go away for a weekend to have some time to replenish ourselves as individuals. We’ve extended that goal for ourselves to also get away once every three months as a couple for a weekend. We haven’t always managed to do that as often as we aim to, but when we do it is glorious and energy-renewing.

We have grandparents coming to stay with us long-term this summer, and are looking forward to going off on some adventures on our own. Thank you grandparents - deep appreciation!

The Mother-Daughter Hearth - 2019 Registration Open

Mamas of daughters - I see you, I feel you, I know you. Your lives are full to the brim with all of the details you coordinate to keep your family and your household on track. So many acts of service and devotion in being there for your beloveds. You give and you give and you give. Wanting to be a shining example for your daughter on the road to womanhood. And yet with so many plates spinning, sometimes it’s nigh impossible to carve out the time to even have a heart-to-heart talk with your girl. I know - it’s a balancing act.

And that proverbial village they say it takes to raise a child? Where is it?

We have just completed our year-long Mother-Daughter Hearth cycle, and I am looking ahead to the group that’s beginning next year. It touched me to see our 2018 group grow in confidence, trust and connection with each other over the course of the year. (That’s a photo of almost all of the mothers and daughters from our 2018 group). Wise girls and women they are.

Special time that mothers and daughters carved out to be with each other every month. Meaningful discussion, fun activities, laughter, and planting seeds for the girls as they are growing toward young womanhood.

I invite you and your 10-12 year old daughter to join us in the circle next year. This is your opportunity to form relationships with other like-minded mothers, to foster new friendships with other girls for your daughter, and learn about some amazing and inspiring female role models.

Give this gift of community and connection to yourself and your daughter in 2019.

Register here: https://www.heartconnectionparenting.com/themother-daughterhearth/

I Invite You To Join Our Next Group Parenting Course In Motueka

There are still a few more places left in my upcoming parenting course.

Here are some of the feedback comments from the last course:

"I find you warm and approachable and enjoyed your playfulness and your ability to listen and respond without it feeling like a textbook technique. This course is relatable and relevant, practical as well as reflective."

"Since this course, I am more patient, I listen more often to what people are actually saying. I am calmer and more at ease and I feel way more connected to my family."

"In the beginning I struggled so often with my family, but now I know there is a way to change this. I have learned to use empathy and am more connected with my family. People should know that you can change their lives."

"I appreciated your openness, your understanding and the way you could listen without judgement. I would happily recommend your service and think it is beneficial to any parents." 

Register here: https://www.heartconnectionparenting.com/8-week-parenting-…/

A Video From A Group Parenting Class Participant

Sarah was one of the students in our last Heart Connection Parenting group parenting course here in Motueka.

She’s the mama to a 9-month-old baby, and is happy to have come across connection parenting early in her journey.

This is what she has to say about her experience in the group…

Sarah's Experience With Heart Connection Parenting from Amy on Vimeo.

Parenting Workshop - Catch The Early Bird Price...

In our current group parenting class we have formed a strong and supportive bond with each other. Sometimes the parents in the class talk about how grateful they are to have this weekly space to nourish themselves and what a relief it is to hear that other parents face some of the same struggles. They say they come away from each class feeling lighter and empowered in their parenting.

There’s another round of classes coming up in Motueka for Term 4 on Friday mornings, beginning on 19 October.

Join us to learn some new skills and tools for your parenting. Find some relief in your challenges with your children. Make some time for your own self-care.

Many of the parents in class talk about how this work has a ripple effect that also surprisingly improves things in their relationship with their partner, and that they weren’t expecting such results when they signed up for this class.

Register now to get the early bird price.

Tools For Conscious And Connected Parenting Course - Video

Information about Heart Connection Parenting's upcoming 8-week course, "Tools For Conscious And Connected Parenting." Begins August 7, 2018, in Motueka. Only a few spaces left. Register at: https://www.heartconnectionparenting.com/8-week-parenting-class/

There are only a few spaces left in this course, so if you're interested in attending, sign up now.

Some parents have commented that the timing of the class doesn't suit them because they're at work.  I will run future courses in the evening or on weekends, depending on interest.  Drop me a line to know what time would suit you best, so I can start planning the next class series.

Tending The Hearth In Winter

Here in New Zealand, we're in the depths of winter - the time to keep warm, the time to rest and renew, the time to keep one's inner soul light burning.  And it's also Matariki season, Aotearoa's celebration of the new year - when we reflect and take stock of the year that has just been and use the time to set intentions about what to plant in the coming year.  More about what I intend to bring into form in this new year a bit later. Read on!

I've been spending this time snuggling and dreaming, exploring my inner landscape and tending the hearth literally and figuratively. How could I say no to this unconditional love...?

On the winter solstice our family went with a friend out to our local beach to welcome the sunrise and acknowledge the shortest day of the year and the soon-to-be growing light.

I've been counting down the days until my 15-year-old daughter returns from her exchange in Norway and am imaging how delightful it will be to see her again.  I'll be all ears to hear the tales she'll share about her adventure.

My son and I have enjoyed doing some wintery crafts together.  We painted some watercolour paper to make this sweet little Waldorf lantern to light up our long winter nights and intend to make more.

My husband has been out photographing the stars in the wee morning hours.  See Matariki?

Click here to see more of his night sky photographs.

In this time of Matariki rising, I'm sowing seeds for the year ahead.  My plans include beginning another intake cycle of The Mother-Daughter Hearth.  Intuitively I feel that Matariki 2019 is the right time for this new beginning.  However, I have had interest and requests for a new group to start sooner.  These mamas and their girls don't want to wait an entire year to embark on their Mother-Daughter Hearth journey!  I'm open to this possibility if there is enough interest.  

I'm in awe seeing the girls in the current Mother-Daughter Hearth becoming more comfortable and confident in the group and sharing more of what is in their hearts and on their minds.  They love hearing a little bit more about their mothers and discovering new things about themselves in the process.  Each month we focus on a different well-known inspirational heroine.  As time goes on the girls are becoming aware that there are heroines right in our very own circle.  In fact, each and every one of us has the capacity to be her own heroine.

Are you one of those mamas ready to bring your daughter to the next circle?  If there are enough of you, I am willing to start another Mother-Daughter Hearth program sooner than winter 2019.  Speak up and let me know if you're interested in an earlier start.

Click the button below to find out more details about The Mother-Daughter Hearth and to register your interest.

Or, send me an email to tell me when you want to begin The Mother-Daughter Hearth with your daughter.

Sign up for my newsletter to receive parenting tips and a schedule of upcoming offerings.

Hope you are keeping warm this winter!

Early Bird Price Extended For Motueka Parenting Course

A quick note to share that I have extended the early bird pricing out through July 9, 2018 for my upcoming parenting class. 'Tools For Conscious And Connected Parenting.'

This course covers information and parenting resources I wish I'd had earlier in my parenting journey.  It would have been much easier, for sure.  Parents will learn the tools to empower themselves and bring about lasting change in relationships with their family. It's all about parenting support.

No matter how old your child is, it is never too late to change the trajectory of your relationship.  This course helps parents with children of all ages.

They say that you can tell what people value most by looking at how they spend their time and how they spend their money.  Your tamariki and your whanau are worth making the investment and the effort!

Early Bird Price Now Through July 9, 2018

"Tools For Conscious And Connected Parenting" - Motueka Class Series Begins In August, 2018

Coming soon.... parenting classes in Motueka.  This next 8-week series begins on Tuesday, August 7 (in the second week of term 3) on Tuesday mornings at the Imagine Theatre.  

Sometimes parenting can feel like such a lonely road, and being on a learning journey with a group of parents who share similar interests and ideals to you can be incredibly supportive and such a relief!

Come along to learn some new skills for your parenting toolkit.

This class is beneficial to parents with children of any age.

Register here: https://www.heartconnectionparenting.com/8-week-parenting-class

The class size is limited to 10 people, so be sure to get your registration in soon!  

Early bird pricing through until June 30th.

Book your free 1/2 hour consultation now to get an idea of the flavour of the course.  https://calendly.com/heartconnectionparenting/30minutes/06-22-2018?back=1

Lighting The Fire

Last night my son lit a fire under me to do something I wouldn't normally do. It was only because of his urging and encouraging that I did it, and I only did it for his benefit.

Some friends invited us to a lovely mid-winter Christmas party at their home last night.  (If you're reading this from the Northern Hemisphere, Christmas celebrations in June probably seem bizarre.  But to someone like me, who grew up with Christmas in winter, it was nostalgic, cosy and nourishing to have a Christmas-like celebration with friends now, while it is winter in New Zealand.)  

After convivial catch-ups with friends, we all shared a pot-luck meal (everything vegan!) and afterwards were treated to some live entertainment.

Most of the people at the party have a connection to our Steiner School community, and there are some very talented folks among that crowd.  We were regaled with performances on the mbira, acapella singing, a guitar and singing trio, and a recorder duo.  Our hostess, eager for more guests to share their talents, asked if anybody else wanted to perform a piece.

I turned to my pre-teen son, encouraging him to get up and play the guitar for us.  He's been learning the guitar for a few years now and is progressing quite nicely.  In my mind, it would be wonderful for him to busk at the local Sunday market to begin raising funds for his trip to Norway in three year's time, but he doesn't feel up to it, or other public performance yet.

Suddenly the tables turned and my son was pulling me up out of my seat to go play the guitar for the audience.  See, the thing is, he has given me exactly one lesson on the guitar so far, and it was already several weeks ago.  He began teaching me the first few bars of the song, "Smoke On The Water."

My resistance arose quickly.  The old thought patterns began to course through my mind, and they had a lot to do with not wanting to make a fool of myself in front of others.  Somehow though, another voice rang out loudly in my mind, telling me to "do it for my son."

I would love to set the example for my children of acting courageously.

So I did it.

I plucked out the few bars I know of "Smoke On The Water."  I didn't even do it right - and, for that matter, I didn't do it well either.  Yet, I lived to tell about it anyway.  I caught sight of my son's face and he was absolutely glowing with excitement.

Later when I was giving him a goodnight snuggle in his bed, he told me he thought it was cool that I got up to play the guitar in front of all the party guests.  In his estimation, there aren't many mums who play the guitar. He also remarked that when he sees adults on stage playing an instrument, they only do so if they're very skilled but not if they're only still learning and not very good.  "No offence mum" (his words).  

Hearing that feedback, and finding out that it had been meaningful to him, I was so pleased that I took the chance and that I did it for him.

It caused me to reflect on how I'm willing to do something in my children's interest that I might not do for only my own benefit.  Getting outside to the park for some fresh air, or making a proper and nutritious meal I'll readily do for my children's good, but might not otherwise do for myself.  But, I end up gaining from the effort that was intended for my children. 

As parents, we carry so many patterns that we have learned from our parents, that they learned from their parents and so on.  So these patterns get passed down through the generations.  These might be patterns of how we communicate with others, how we accept others, how we cope with challenges, how we react to stress, et cetera.  

How many parents decide they would like to change these patterns for themselves, and how many take action to do so?

Ah, but when parents see the impact these patterns have on their children, they become more motivated to seek change.  They will do it for their children's sake.

If something in your parent-child relationship is lighting a fire under you to seek transformation, take action.  

Book your free half-hour consultation now:  https://calendly.com/heartconnectionparenting

I am here to offer you guidance and support on your journey.  

If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your children. 

Holding On And Letting Go

Nobody ever said this parenting gig would be easy.

What a paradox it is raising children in an effort to have a close relationship with them, knowing that separation between parent and child is inevitable and is necessary for a child becoming an adult.

Thank goodness the separation is gradual from when they are babies and doesn't come all at once - imagine how difficult that would be!

My teenaged daughter, who once started off her life just at the other end of the umbilical cord that we used to share, is now halfway around the world from me.  The distance between New Zealand and Norway feels longer than it ever has - especially when her first birthday that we've ever been separated for came along.

It's only 86 days till her return (but who is counting?) and she's now 1/4 of the way through her trip.

My heart aches with missing her, yet I know that studying abroad at this time is great for her personal development, her blossoming independence, and her unfolding sense of self. I'm proud of her for her courage and her maturity.  And I miss her like crazy. It really is a both/and situation.

Holding on to and savouring precious moments together and letting go at the same time - not easy. It's a learning and a journey for the parent just as much as it is for the child.  

At least it's still a few years until she flies the nest for good. This is just a test flight where she's stretching her wings. This proud mama can stretch that far for now.

Feedback From Parenting Class

For me, it feels gratifying and touches me deeply to know that my students are receiving benefits and growing as a result of our time spent together in parenting classes.  Here's what one of my former students has shared with me...

"I'm inspired and motivated again to keep focusing on the skills I've learned. I've gained more skills to parent out of trust, deep love and respect for myself and others. Also, it was highly valuable to experience the program together with others, feeling the closeness, trust and respect amongst us as we shared this beginning of this purposeful journey.  We have been an amazing group with lots of laughter.

Amy has a passion and a love for this work, and is authentic, fun, understanding and non-judgemental. I felt heard and fully respected.  Thank you for your humour, your gentleness and your fun."

-Claudia Manderson from Brooklyn, New Zealand                                                                         mother to an  11-year-old, a 13-year-old, and a 16-year-old

The next round of parenting classes begins in Motueka on February 20. Won't you join us?